Thursday, April 30, 2009

Cat Tales

Dear Miss Lilly,

I would say all this to your furry little face but your no where to be found. Not surprising after the apparent full day you had. Thanks for the 'gifts' I found when I got home.

Thank you for leaving your friend, Mouse right by the kitchen table, and on the hard wood too! Made clean up a breeze. Bless. And by the way, nice job on the decapitation. Did you go to trade school for butchering? I don't think you could have made a cleaner cut with a cleaver.

The feathers were a bit confusing. I mean it did still look like a headless mouse and all, and the feathers were the same color. Following fashion this year? It's nice your trying to expand your possibilities. It did take a while to find birdy. Your a clever one, you. The coat closet literally was the last place I thought to look, and so near the vacuum cleaner! Your an angel, love.

Thing is, you know how I feel about you on the counters. This ain't Smocha's place and you know it. Being up there is bad enough, but your absolutely forbidden to bring half dead birdy on your trips to the sink. But then, the counters really did need to be disinfected. I hadn't done them since Sunday so I see your point.

And what is the deal with bring all your little past-due friends home? Do you think Bear gets bored since he's stuck inside while you can come and go as you please? Well worry no more, soon he'll be going to work with me in the mornings.

While were at it, what have you been doing in the organ at night? I mean come on - the thing doesn't play itself. I hear you. Friends in there too?

What I'm really curious about, because you failed to actually consume any of your little friends...What exactly was in the little pile of your stomach contents on the entry way floor anyway?

Keep this up and I'll close the cat door until November.

Well? Go the next one...Shoo!


Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Oh, Brad, this was hilarious to read even though I'm sure it was not fun to deal with.

The cat must have spring fever or something. Definitely working overtime.

Kathy said...

I'm with Miss Lilly! A girl has got to be true to herself! Great post, Brad!!

Cinny said...

I love Miss Lilly.

Smocha said...

Bwa ha ha ! You're killing me!That was hysterical :)

On a serious note, what does one do with the "friends' when the cat is too stupid to catch them?

I think there are mice in my laundry room. Judging by their uh...leavin's ,they are really tiny mice. But Cavuto does not seem to know or care that they are living it up around his food bowl.
How can I get them to leave on their own? :)

happyone said...

Miss Lilly was certainly busy.
I loved this post, it really had me laughing. :-)

Boxer said...


She loves you! She really loves you! And she wants to show her love by gifting you alllll day long.

Funny post. Have a great weekend.

meno said...

Your cat and my cat,
sittin' in a tree
First comes mouse,
then comes bird
then comes gopher with
his body in thirds.

Yeah, i know, i am no poet. But i woke up to a dead rodent, so i feel ya.

Cheryl said...

Very clever Brad. There's so many sides to you!


lily rocks! I liked this so should submit it to an online cat magazine..

Lily--your daddy's nice or that door will be closed to your adorable cat fanny.

((of course you're still welcome. :) ...) You're soo cute.

miss u.
wake up. :)


The Middle Aged Woman said...

Come on over.

zirelda said...

Oh that is funny.

Scarlet said...

The beginnings of a fine book. I feel as though I KNOW Miss Lilly so well now...and I love that she hangs out in the organ at nighttime making music with her friends.

That's one cool missing cat! :)

sexy said...


Dear Liza said...

You (and miss lilly) are so very clever!

Hope this week is a good one.

Hugs. :)

Real Live Lesbian said...

Miss Lilly rocks! Don't you dare lock her door! ;)

Kelly Jene said...

I love it!

I read this to Roger as I was reading.. too funny. Coming from us who own 3 darlings of our own, we hear you! :)