Monday, April 27, 2009

A Big Hairy Deal

I picked up a new hair product the other day. I wanted something different then the crispy wet looking hair you get with your typical gel. I wanted something that would give me more 'touchable' hair. I went to Supercuts because I remembered a product one of the girls there had used on me. I remembered it smelled good and wasn't overly stiff. So now I no longer wear gel, instead it's a 'pomade'. I went there because I knew what it smelled like, kinda new what the jar looked liked and thought it would be the easiest thing to do.

I'm somewhat regretting it. Not for the product itself. It is, and does everything it says it will, and it does smell nice. (Nice = Jay actually noticed it and commented on it) What gets me are the fascist fashion pin heads (I can say that cuz I was one once) who came up with the product marketing. As I stood there looking at it this morning I saw the product line is called 'D:tails', the product itself is 'H:def'. The pompous little marketing gnats must think it cool and edgy to misspell. It's not like they even saved a keystroke with the colon and all. But really I'm just mad at myself for paying 12 bucks for this goop.

While considering male grooming, I think I struck on an idea that could be a real money maker in these days of economic decline. If you've hung out with guys much at all, or if you've tried to raise one your self at home, surely you've noticed that we tend to grow hair in places where no human body really needs, or should have hair. If you've flipped your guy over, or looked at his under carriage you know exactly what I mean. Now realise, this is coming from a man who's nearest and dearest could be mistaken for wearing a sweater in summer when he has his shirt off. We shear him bi-annually.

So I was thinking about all the people, primarily woman, who have to put up with this hairy-ness. If we made hair removal both quick and easy, we could turn this idea into gold! Something like a cross between a Supercuts and a Speedylube. In fact the layout of a Speedylube store might make a great floor plan for this shop. The guy just rolls into the shop, hoist him up on a rack, depilitate him, and roll him on out the back door. In fact if we could include an oil change for his car in the mix, even better. Higher points on the manliness scale. It couldn't be named anything vaguely Metro-sexual either, it would scare them away too. We'll borrow 'Details' from the marketing gnats, you know, like you detail a car.

And of course it would have to be quick, easy and COMPLETELY painless or you'd never have a return customer. I'm thinking like that 'Nads' stuff that nice Iranian lady and her daughters sell on TV.

So there you go, all I ask is a small cut of the profits. Your welcome.


I posted this on my Facebook 'wall' yesterday: Some say good things come to those that wait. Some just call it procrastinate.

The hidden message was that Jay finally found the receipt for the camera he gave me for Christmas that he broke. I've been putting off buying a new one hoping this might happen. Then I got to thinking. There was nothing wrong with the camera until he broke it. Why would they give us another one for free? I'm certainly willing to let him return it and do the 'shuck and jive' to get a new one, but I'm worried. Can one accrue karmic debt by association?

19 comments:

Kathy said...

I'm not sure what possessed you to write this post, but whatever it was needs a whopping 'thank you.' WHAT A HOOT!

meno said...

I wonder what would happen if you sent those creatures in the picture to get"detailed."

bonnie said...

Love this post. I just want to smooch up those two on the bed there, roll that kitty's fur around through my fingers. Hopefully I could grab a little kitty fat, then burrow into Bear's big chest. Is he sleeping in seal position? Oakleigh does that. Poor Cheryl, she doesn't have a clue.

fiwa said...

"Can one accrue karmic debt by association?" Nope, only for yourself. I know this fer sure - otherwise I woulda been struck dead by a lighting bolt by association.

Hey, I would like to remind you that Kyla preformed hair removal for Mo and you were there to witness it. So it's out there - it is offered. It's not painless, but you must SUFFER for beauty Brad.

Love you,
fifi

desert dirt diva said...

THAT WAS GREAT....LOL.....

Scarlet said...

Karmic debt by association?? Sure, but only if you have a conscience about it (and apparently you do)...so either lose the conscience or suffer the consequences. :)

Btw, I don't like hairy men but I dislike hairless men more. I love the part where you say, "If you've flipped your guy over or looked at his under carriage..." Nice visual! :)

PS - I love the pet pic! Where's the photo of your hair??

Cinny said...

My youngest is always complaining about all the hair he has in places he doesn't want it.

And why are hair products so expensive?

Summer

Smocha said...

Ha Ha ! Thanks for the laughs this morning.

When I was young I had to stop dating a few people once I found out they had hairy backs. Ewww.

Lucky for them, none of the ones I "raised at home" turned out hairy.

One of them does have a random patch of hair on his back . A hair birthmark? I tried to wax it once with duct tape. LOL It didn't work.

:)) Hugs

happyone said...

I don't like LOTS of hair on men but I do like some. I also like beards - not long ones, but neatly trimmed ones.

Boxer said...

I'm laughing at Fiwa's response to your Karma question. I think you're safe, but you might want to stand away from him unless ligthening does strike.

That's a seriously sweet picture.

Cheryl said...

Can I tell you how much I laughed at this post. If I had time I'd go over it line by line. Brava, you funny guy. And I'd be lucky to have you live next door and not thousands of miles away!

Karmic debt? Maybe you could trade like carbon?

Cheryl said...

PS...this is where I started laughing: "If you've flipped your guy over, or looked at his under carriage you know exactly what I mean.:

Kelly Jene said...

Coming from someone who has tried Nad's... honey, there is no hair removing trick that works and is painless! That stuff hurt!!

Jay said...

"Can one accrue karmic debt by association?"Yes, and now we're all doomed too. ;-)

Leann said...

Oh Brad, you have some awesome visuals in there. If you can find hair removal that is painless, some of us gals might get'detailed' also :-)

Dear Liza said...

Once again, a laugh on a day I REALLY needed it. Thanks buddy.

Happy whateverthehelltodayis.

Hugs. :)

CRUSTYBEEF said...

LMFAO!!


yes, karmic dba does exist..

zirelda said...

You're on a roll here.

Karmic debt by association? I believe it exists.

Ace C said...

I just learned way to much about you. TMI.